Reflections from my heart

These past couple of weeks have been quite challenging for me. Not challenging in terms of French, but challenging in terms of life. I feel as though God has been stripping me of my independence, so as to make me fully rely on Him. I always tell God that I want to be broken before Him, yet I tend to forget how much that process can really hurt. Yet, I am continuously reminded that God is faithful and He never leaves my side. In some recent conversations with the Lord, He has given me a new direction for my life. It may or may not change every aspect of my life, but I must be ready and willing to allow God to bring and create changes within me. For the time being, I believe that the Lord has lead me to put Africa on hold. Although, I loved my time in Mali, and desperately want to return, the Lord has given me a peace about it all. It is not what I would have chosen or really what I want to do, but because the Lord has led me in that way, I will follow His direction. Too many times have I gone in the wrong direction, going my own way, and have failed greatly. I believe it is time for me to step up to the plate and allow the Lord to be Lord of my life. I know that I am supposed to return home in December and then finish my college education, which may contain another 2 semesters, entailing that I would possibly graduate in December 2009. I need to focus on finishing school and paying off my loans, trusting all the while that the Lord will provide. As many of you know, I have worked at HyVee for the last 7 years. I love HyVee- more specifically I've always loved the people I work with. God has definitely blessed me with lots of opportunities to minister to my coworkers, but I am not sure what job I will have upon my return to the States. I am praying that God will open up a job opportunity that pertains to something intercultural, so I can put my major to use. I believe that my uncertainties in life right now are causing me to walk by faith. I am trusting that the Lord will provide, He always has. As weird as it is for me to say this, I feel at total peace with my uncertainties, which is not normal for me. I usually have to be in control, I always feel as though I need a plan, I need to know what is going on, but I believe that the Lord is changing my heart. As He is walking by my side, I know that He has everything under control, and that His ways are best. I pray that as I continue to strive to live each day for Him, I will continue to walk by His side and not jump ahead or get in the way of His plans. I've been comforted by His promise in

Jeremiah 33:3, "Call to me and I will answer your and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." God is always there, and He will direct my life in the way that it should go, when it should go that way.